WOMAN, DETERMINED
Creative Works & Advocacy
What’s Not Okay
It’s okay if you don’t know what you’re doing. What’s not okay is anyone in your support system making you feel bad about it.
It’s okay if others want to help you. What’s not okay is for them to take control the way your abuser always did.
It’s okay if you’re still figuring out your boundaries. What’s not okay is for others to take advantage of your uncertainty, then treat you like you’re the one doing something wrong.
It’s okay if you can’t be what others need right now. What’s not okay is for them to expect what you can’t give, especially if it’s more than they’re willing to offer you when you’re in need.
It’s okay if you can’t remember everything (it’s a trauma response). What’s not okay is for others to hold a grudge about it.
It’s okay if sometimes people aren’t happy with you. What’s not okay is for people to act like you’re responsible for their emotions.
It’s okay to feel everything you’re feeling, back and forth, up and down. These are confusing times, your healing. What’s not okay is for anyone to shame you about your journey, or your humanity.
It’s okay if you discard people who don’t belong in your new life.
It’s okay if you piss others off, especially if it’s while doing whatever is best and healthiest for you.
It’s okay when you mess up, even if you feel like you’re losing progress—because you’re not.
And it’s okay to celebrate when you are victorious.
It’s okay when you’re sad, angry, vulnerable, strong, giddy, elated.
You’re going to be okay. Actually, you’re going to be great. Powerful. Happier than you ever thought possible.
Keep going.
WOMAN, DETERMINED 