Tag: DV

Life in the Trenches

A reframe Sometimes, to victims learning how to survive, it feels like life is stuck “in the trenches.” We use the idiom when we’re feeling beaten down, challenged, heartbroken, threatened, damaged. When we’ve forgotten our hope. Merriam-Webster defines the phrase as “a place or… Continue Reading “Life in the Trenches”

Financial & Post-Separation Abuse

Do you want to talk about financial abuse? Because we should. Financial abuse is a component of domestic abuse 99% of the time. (Source: National Network to End Domestic Violence) It happens when your abuser hides money, spends freely on their wants and needs… Continue Reading “Financial & Post-Separation Abuse”

No Formal Education Needed to Survive and Thrive

I don’t have any degrees. I’ve no formal education. Oh, I had a plan for college. Took some early classes that didn’t go anywhere. Dreamed of this career or that and had a fuzzy view of the future for myself but then, simply put,… Continue Reading “No Formal Education Needed to Survive and Thrive”

How to Deal with Abuse

Step 1: Listen to that tiny voice when it says you deserve better. Step 2: Internalize that you need to leave. Step 3: Figure out a way to leave, then leave. Or leave even without a clear plan. Whatever it takes, hopefully with a… Continue Reading “How to Deal with Abuse”

A Note for Survivor Supporters

Those who have never experienced an abusive relationship assume that at the inception of one they would take charge and respond with empowerment immediately. “I would NEVER allow that.” But a domestic abuse truth is that its victims are groomed and conditioned from the… Continue Reading “A Note for Survivor Supporters”

What DV Survivors Need

It’s probably not your advice Can we stop averting our eyes and pretending that survivors don’t really have it all that bad and asking women to “just get over it” and “move on” when the truth is that the conditioning and consequences from emotional,… Continue Reading “What DV Survivors Need”

Your Own Grace

Survivor, you deserve and owe yourself all the grace in the world. Please remember as you find your backbone, and stabilize your emotions, and learn how to be firm — even “bitchy,” as some will interpret when and where your newfound boundaries demand a… Continue Reading “Your Own Grace”

Are single men and dads financially abused?

There’s a pattern. Some will read this as broad generalization, but the patterns exist because of the patriarchy, because of domestic and financial abuse, and because of how family courts cater to the men who lie about their income and ability to provide for… Continue Reading “Are single men and dads financially abused?”

Caseworker Mistreatment

A DV CASEWORKER MISTREATS A CLIENT | Mama M from Kentucky says, “My question is in regard to staying in a domestic violence shelter. What do you do when you’re mistreated by one of the caseworkers? They mocked me and played psychological warfare to… Continue Reading “Caseworker Mistreatment”