WOMAN, DETERMINED
Creative Works & Advocacy
Tag: DV
No, Not Everyone is Toxic
I don’t know about you, but I’m seeing lots of content that wants the world’s toxicity shared equally among its residents. Example: “You can’t really begin to grow until you accept that you were toxic, too.” Bullshit. I do not accept this victim-blaming. Do… Continue Reading “No, Not Everyone is Toxic”
You Could Call It a “Mystery” Book
It’s never happened to me with a book before. (Movies, though, more times than I can count.) I bought this one in May while on vacation but only recently started reading. It’s 482 pages. Published in 2016. The plot was all brand new until… Continue Reading “You Could Call It a “Mystery” Book”
Let’s Talk About Forgiveness
Many pieces of our American society — especially through the arm of Western religion — make you think that forgiveness (releasing another from the harm they’ve done you) is required for your peace and well-being. My hot take is that forgiveness toward the one… Continue Reading “Let’s Talk About Forgiveness”
Life in the Trenches
A reframe Sometimes, to victims learning how to survive, it feels like life is stuck “in the trenches.” We use the idiom when we’re feeling beaten down, challenged, heartbroken, threatened, damaged. When we’ve forgotten our hope. Merriam-Webster defines the phrase as “a place or… Continue Reading “Life in the Trenches”
Financial & Post-Separation Abuse
Do you want to talk about financial abuse? Because we should. Financial abuse is a component of domestic abuse 99% of the time. (Source: National Network to End Domestic Violence) It happens when your abuser hides money, spends freely on their wants and needs… Continue Reading “Financial & Post-Separation Abuse”
No Formal Education Needed to Survive and Thrive
I don’t have any degrees. I’ve no formal education. Oh, I had a plan for college. Took some early classes that didn’t go anywhere. Dreamed of this career or that and had a fuzzy view of the future for myself but then, simply put,… Continue Reading “No Formal Education Needed to Survive and Thrive”
How to Deal with Abuse
Step 1: Listen to that tiny voice when it says you deserve better. Step 2: Internalize that you need to leave. Step 3: Figure out a way to leave, then leave. Or leave even without a clear plan. Whatever it takes, hopefully with a… Continue Reading “How to Deal with Abuse”
A Note for Survivor Supporters
Those who have never experienced an abusive relationship assume that at the inception of one they would take charge and respond with empowerment immediately. “I would NEVER allow that.” But a domestic abuse truth is that its victims are groomed and conditioned from the… Continue Reading “A Note for Survivor Supporters”
What DV Survivors Need
It’s probably not your advice Can we stop averting our eyes and pretending that survivors don’t really have it all that bad and asking women to “just get over it” and “move on” when the truth is that the conditioning and consequences from emotional,… Continue Reading “What DV Survivors Need”
Your Own Grace
Survivor, you deserve and owe yourself all the grace in the world. Please remember as you find your backbone, and stabilize your emotions, and learn how to be firm — even “bitchy,” as some will interpret when and where your newfound boundaries demand a… Continue Reading “Your Own Grace”
WOMAN, DETERMINED 