Tag: manipulation

The Proof (and Magic) of Milestones

Proof. My son’s cap and gown for high school graduation came in this week. In May he’ll don the duo, walk alongside his classmates and best friends, and together — with his older sister, now a sophomore in college — we’ll mark one of… Continue Reading “The Proof (and Magic) of Milestones”

Because of Your Sensibilities

Some people will treat you as if your sensibilities are a vulnerability, a habitual liability, because then it’s easier for them to begrudge and ignore your strengths. You can’t please them. You also don’t have meet their skewed and unrealistic expectations. Just do you,… Continue Reading “Because of Your Sensibilities”

Why a Life of Second-Guessing?

What if the reason you’ve spent a lifetime unsure, driven by self-doubt, and habitually second-guessing yourself is that someone(s) who held the most power for impact and effect during your formation (by which I mean formative years, yes, but also beyond: the sum total)… Continue Reading “Why a Life of Second-Guessing?”

It’s Time to Get Comfortable with Yourself

Take the selfie. Save the selfie. Share the selfie. Serious and silly. You don’t have to listen to the noise about how our world is “selfie-obsessed” and “self-absorbed.” If you’ve spent any time at all questioning your appearance, hating your body, or harboring low… Continue Reading “It’s Time to Get Comfortable with Yourself”

Why Perspective May Not Do You Any Favors

Perspective. It’s important. A friend shared with me the other day that by seeing what someone else was going through in their home, she considered for herself, “Maybe it’s not so bad for me.” I agree with her. When we have tunnel vision our… Continue Reading “Why Perspective May Not Do You Any Favors”

How Public Housing Perpetuates a Pattern of Control

“Such narrow, domineering rules feel a lot like the way domestic abuse feels.” This essay has been knocking around my noggin for months. Today I blew the dust off my Medium account and hit “publish.” I hope you’ll take a chance to check it… Continue Reading “How Public Housing Perpetuates a Pattern of Control”

What You Sacrifice to Find Yourself

You’ll lose people along your journey. Sometimes it’s because they enable the one who abused you, therefore you cannot maintain connection with them. Sometimes it’s because they believe the lies and rumors, the smear campaign about you, and forsake their connection to you. Sometimes… Continue Reading “What You Sacrifice to Find Yourself”

Triggers in the Wild

It happened again last night. I saw someone from Our Story out of context. We were at a community event, both my kids and me. A man passed by and he looked familiar. Something about the dark hair and glasses. My eyes kept wandering… Continue Reading “Triggers in the Wild”

How to Get Help and Leave Abuse

I know it’s hard to ask for help, especially once you’ve internalized you need to leave and it’s time to make a plan. Here’s how I help women (in America) find resources that are local to them. Save this in case you ever need… Continue Reading “How to Get Help and Leave Abuse”

Abuse is Abuse is Abuse

“What if this isn’t really abuse?” “It could be worse, right? It’s not like he hits me.” “Maybe she’s right. Maybe I’m overreacting.” Let me help you here. It IS abuse. Truly. You’re just not comfortable with that word yet because it’s a lot… Continue Reading “Abuse is Abuse is Abuse”