Category: Personal Essay

It’s Time to Get Comfortable with Yourself

Take the selfie. Save the selfie. Share the selfie. Serious and silly. You don’t have to listen to the noise about how our world is “selfie-obsessed” and “self-absorbed.” If you’ve spent any time at all questioning your appearance, hating your body, or harboring low… Continue Reading “It’s Time to Get Comfortable with Yourself”

Life is Cyclical

One day you’re a newly divorced single mom living in a crappy low-income apartment with no washer/dryer hookups, schlepping as infrequently as possible to the local laundromat to clean everything, in big loads, for your family of three. It’s an awful, detestable chore you… Continue Reading “Life is Cyclical”

Why Perspective May Not Do You Any Favors

Perspective. It’s important. A friend shared with me the other day that by seeing what someone else was going through in their home, she considered for herself, “Maybe it’s not so bad for me.” I agree with her. When we have tunnel vision our… Continue Reading “Why Perspective May Not Do You Any Favors”

How Public Housing Perpetuates a Pattern of Control

“Such narrow, domineering rules feel a lot like the way domestic abuse feels.” This essay has been knocking around my noggin for months. Today I blew the dust off my Medium account and hit “publish.” I hope you’ll take a chance to check it… Continue Reading “How Public Housing Perpetuates a Pattern of Control”

No, Not Everyone is Toxic

I don’t know about you, but I’m seeing lots of content that wants the world’s toxicity shared equally among its residents. Example: “You can’t really begin to grow until you accept that you were toxic, too.” Bullshit. I do not accept this victim-blaming. Do… Continue Reading “No, Not Everyone is Toxic”

What You Sacrifice to Find Yourself

You’ll lose people along your journey. Sometimes it’s because they enable the one who abused you, therefore you cannot maintain connection with them. Sometimes it’s because they believe the lies and rumors, the smear campaign about you, and forsake their connection to you. Sometimes… Continue Reading “What You Sacrifice to Find Yourself”

Triggers in the Wild

It happened again last night. I saw someone from Our Story out of context. We were at a community event, both my kids and me. A man passed by and he looked familiar. Something about the dark hair and glasses. My eyes kept wandering… Continue Reading “Triggers in the Wild”

How Do I Set and Keep Boundaries?

A reader asks, “How do I follow through with boundaries and keep them up when someone tries to knock them down?” Boundaries are so hard, man. Because, for one, we’re not used to having them, so it’s unnatural and uncomfortable to figure out what… Continue Reading “How Do I Set and Keep Boundaries?”

Abuse is Abuse is Abuse

“What if this isn’t really abuse?” “It could be worse, right? It’s not like he hits me.” “Maybe she’s right. Maybe I’m overreacting.” Let me help you here. It IS abuse. Truly. You’re just not comfortable with that word yet because it’s a lot… Continue Reading “Abuse is Abuse is Abuse”

Resources Do Not a Survivor Make

I’m remembering the time someone suggested that I’ve gotten where I am — healing, sharing, teaching — because I must have had more and better resources than other survivors. If she’d had any idea how long I’ve struggled financially and fought emotionally, how many… Continue Reading “Resources Do Not a Survivor Make”