WOMAN, DETERMINED
Writer & Advocate Janna Leadbetter
Tag: emotional abuse
Co-Parenting Judgment
A woman who leaves abuse and then still has to share custody of her children with that abuser has a hard road. So hard. She is expected by society to play nice, be amicable, put her “ego” aside, and unite with her dangerous ex… Continue Reading “Co-Parenting Judgment”
Janna’s SAGE Podcast Appearance
A few weeks ago I was invited to the SAGE Community podcast show. Founder Erin and I talked about what abuse looks like, how survivors need to tackle their healing with patience, some special tools that help, and more. It was really, really good.… Continue Reading “Janna’s SAGE Podcast Appearance”
Selfies as Self-Worth
Let’s talk about self-image. How comfortable are you taking pictures of yourself? What do you think when you look at you? Does your abuser’s voice still narrate your perception of self? This is me in 2014. I had been divorced a few years already,… Continue Reading “Selfies as Self-Worth”
You Have More Worth in the Underside of Your Little Toe Than Your Abuser Does in Their Whole Body
Why? Because you’re the real one. You’re the one who cares about others. You’re the one with emotional intelligence. You’re the one with legitimate goals and ambitions. You’re the one willing to reflect and self-assess. You’re the one who strives to be better. You’re… Continue Reading “You Have More Worth in the Underside of Your Little Toe Than Your Abuser Does in Their Whole Body”
I Don’t Give Away Permission for Others to Make Me Feel Small
It gets easier. It gets easier to recognize what it was about your abuser’s behavior that made you feel small, then understand that it was never your fault, then repair the hurt that came from the degradation and condescension. From there it gets easier… Continue Reading “I Don’t Give Away Permission for Others to Make Me Feel Small”
Abuse Isn’t Always Physical
“At least he doesn’t hit me.” Raise your hand if ever that was part of your inner monologue. Physical abuse is the easiest to see and prove. That’s why some abusers avoid it, and choose — yes, CHOOSE — the “quiet” and “subtle” abuses.… Continue Reading “Abuse Isn’t Always Physical”
Reclaim the Places of Hurting
Revisit the places where you cried, fought, or felt tiny, and reclaim them in your strength Last year I drove by myself to Des Moines from the Kansas City area. It was a Saturday in May, nice weather. An impulsive decision. I decided to… Continue Reading “Reclaim the Places of Hurting”
She May Not Leave Because…
We each have our own pace. Our own awareness. Our own willingness. Our own awakening. That is our hope, anyway. Right? That each victim awakens and undergoes her journey toward survival and then, eventually, she thrives. The other day I used the term “willful… Continue Reading “She May Not Leave Because…”
Impression Management is the Game
Sometimes it’s as simple as wearing a smile on your face, and being so, so careful about how much you say and to whom, so that no one knows how bad it really is. Sometimes it’s more grandiose, a kind of overcompensation meant to… Continue Reading “Impression Management is the Game”
Sunday Spirituality
People assume it’s the hard wood of a church pew that makes it so uncomfortable for long periods. But a woman who’s had to listen to a sermon about love and kindness and humility and doing for others and forgiveness, etc., etc., while sitting… Continue Reading “Sunday Spirituality”
