Tag: narcissistic abuse

Karma & Consequence

Their world is slowly but definitely imploding, you can trust me on that. You may not witness the fall today or tomorrow, but it’s going to happen. Because when you build your life around hurting othersmanipulating the truthstealing money &ruining your creditburning bridgesbreaking the… Continue Reading “Karma & Consequence”

Post-Separation Abuse Often Includes Neglect of the Kids

I didn’t know about the cookies. Back then I knew about the unbrushed teeth and hair. Limited bathing. He had them looking like ragamuffins. I knew about how the electric company had shut off power because of nonpayment. I knew about the house approaching… Continue Reading “Post-Separation Abuse Often Includes Neglect of the Kids”

The Proof (and Magic) of Milestones

Proof. My son’s cap and gown for high school graduation came in this week. In May he’ll don the duo, walk alongside his classmates and best friends, and together — with his older sister, now a sophomore in college — we’ll mark one of… Continue Reading “The Proof (and Magic) of Milestones”

Why a Life of Second-Guessing?

What if the reason you’ve spent a lifetime unsure, driven by self-doubt, and habitually second-guessing yourself is that someone(s) who held the most power for impact and effect during your formation (by which I mean formative years, yes, but also beyond: the sum total)… Continue Reading “Why a Life of Second-Guessing?”

Why Perspective May Not Do You Any Favors

Perspective. It’s important. A friend shared with me the other day that by seeing what someone else was going through in their home, she considered for herself, “Maybe it’s not so bad for me.” I agree with her. When we have tunnel vision our… Continue Reading “Why Perspective May Not Do You Any Favors”

What Other People Think

It doesn’t matter what the person who abused you thinks. It doesn’t matter what their enablers think. Or what the people with whom you have a personality conflict. Your bully boss, the manipulative friend. That new person you’re dating—don’t start that connection by caring… Continue Reading “What Other People Think”

It’s All Okay

Need a reminder today? I’ve got it for you. It’s okay if all you make for dinner is mac & cheese or Ramen. You’re busy trying to heal. It’s okay if the laundry has piled up. You’re busy trying to heal. It’s okay if… Continue Reading “It’s All Okay”

I Made My Own Flag

The superficial, patriotic noise & nationalist pride of today’s America do not bring me joy on this Independence Day, and give me no cause to celebrate. They can have Old Glory. I made my own flag. As a DV survivor, ally, and advocate, I… Continue Reading “I Made My Own Flag”

A Survivor’s Superpower

Guess what, you? YOU are capable of change and growth and healing. YOU are capable of an authentic life driven by deep joy, satisfaction, and stability. Your abuser is NOT. (A supporting text that will help you understand why is Lundy Bancroft’s book, Why… Continue Reading “A Survivor’s Superpower”

Survivor, Give Solitude a Chance

Solitude is hard to handle when you’re used to chaos. Being alone is difficult when you’ve been conditioned to codependency. Sitting quietly with only one’s thoughts can be torture when those thoughts are dominated by triggers at every turn, and memories of the abuse.… Continue Reading “Survivor, Give Solitude a Chance”