Tag: narcissistic abuse

What Other People Think

It doesn’t matter what the person who abused you thinks. It doesn’t matter what their enablers think. Or what the people with whom you have a personality conflict. Your bully boss, the manipulative friend. That new person you’re dating—don’t start that connection by caring… Continue Reading “What Other People Think”

It’s All Okay

Need a reminder today? I’ve got it for you. It’s okay if all you make for dinner is mac & cheese or Ramen. You’re busy trying to heal. It’s okay if the laundry has piled up. You’re busy trying to heal. It’s okay if… Continue Reading “It’s All Okay”

I Made My Own Flag

The superficial, patriotic noise & nationalist pride of today’s America do not bring me joy on this Independence Day, and give me no cause to celebrate. They can have Old Glory. I made my own flag. As a DV survivor, ally, and advocate, I… Continue Reading “I Made My Own Flag”

A Survivor’s Superpower

Guess what, you? YOU are capable of change and growth and healing. YOU are capable of an authentic life driven by deep joy, satisfaction, and stability. Your abuser is NOT. (A supporting text that will help you understand why is Lundy Bancroft’s book, Why… Continue Reading “A Survivor’s Superpower”

Survivor, Give Solitude a Chance

Solitude is hard to handle when you’re used to chaos. Being alone is difficult when you’ve been conditioned to codependency. Sitting quietly with only one’s thoughts can be torture when those thoughts are dominated by triggers at every turn, and memories of the abuse.… Continue Reading “Survivor, Give Solitude a Chance”

Tattered Hearts and Their Repairers

My best friend collects heart-shaped rocks. I’m not sure you would believe the sheer amount and variety her devotion has rendered. It’s impressive, and makes one want to start their own collection. She gave me this one. Can you guess why by the visual?… Continue Reading “Tattered Hearts and Their Repairers”

Let’s Talk About Forgiveness

Many pieces of our American society — especially through the arm of Western religion — make you think that forgiveness (releasing another from the harm they’ve done you) is required for your peace and well-being. My hot take is that forgiveness toward the one… Continue Reading “Let’s Talk About Forgiveness”

Death: Why My Life Started Over

My sweet dad took his last breath on this day twelve years ago. I was in the room when it happened. In fact, I was the one who realized he wasn’t breathing anymore. Hospice warns you, you know. They’ve gotten really good at estimating… Continue Reading “Death: Why My Life Started Over”

Life in the Trenches

A reframe Sometimes, to victims learning how to survive, it feels like life is stuck “in the trenches.” We use the idiom when we’re feeling beaten down, challenged, heartbroken, threatened, damaged. When we’ve forgotten our hope. Merriam-Webster defines the phrase as “a place or… Continue Reading “Life in the Trenches”

Financial & Post-Separation Abuse

Do you want to talk about financial abuse? Because we should. Financial abuse is a component of domestic abuse 99% of the time. (Source: National Network to End Domestic Violence) It happens when your abuser hides money, spends freely on their wants and needs… Continue Reading “Financial & Post-Separation Abuse”