Tag: gaslighting

To Be or Not to Be Quiet About Abuse

We’ve talked about it before, about how we are shamed and scared into silence by our abusers and our attorneys and the family courts system. We’ve also talked about how being too bold with what we share, especially if we’re involved with family court,… Continue Reading “To Be or Not to Be Quiet About Abuse”

What Does It Mean If I Miss My Abuser?

The truth is, you don’t miss your abuser. Not really. It just feels like it because your hurt over being treated so grossly is so big. You miss who they initially pretended to be and hooked you with, and/or the person you wanted them… Continue Reading “What Does It Mean If I Miss My Abuser?”

Are single men and dads financially abused?

There’s a pattern. Some will read this as broad generalization, but the patterns exist because of the patriarchy, because of domestic and financial abuse, and because of how family courts cater to the men who lie about their income and ability to provide for… Continue Reading “Are single men and dads financially abused?”

When Bystanders Think You Gave Your Abuser Permission

More victim blaming and shaming. Bystanders love that sh*t, because they think they have it all figured out, and also because they don’t know any better. Survivors do know better. We know that we are in control of very little during the abuse. This… Continue Reading “When Bystanders Think You Gave Your Abuser Permission”

About that Thing Abusers (and Enablers) Like to Call “Parental Alienation”

Originally posted on Breaking the Silence for Women 11/6/21. This morning I woke to notification of a comment that has since been deleted by its writer. That’s okay. Either they decided not to risk a public comment that the wrong people might see, or… Continue Reading “About that Thing Abusers (and Enablers) Like to Call “Parental Alienation””

But You’re Over It, Right?

If you haven’t experienced this yet, you will. Someone you’re getting to know, and starting to feel comfortable telling The Story of You to, will interrupt and say, “But you’re over it, right?” “It” being the abuse you endured for months, possible years. And… Continue Reading “But You’re Over It, Right?”

Here’s How to Level Up in the Challenge of Healing

In no particular order, at no particular pace. Each realization gives you a boost. Some of them are serial. > identify a red flag> recognize someone’s manipulation> assert a boundary> speak up> break the habit of automatically saying “I’m sorry”> let someone have the… Continue Reading “Here’s How to Level Up in the Challenge of Healing”

A Note to Single Mamas

Single Mama, I see you. I’ve *been* you for 10 years. I know how hard it is to do things on your own. Lean into it. Through the overwhelm and challenge comes your strength and empowerment. Through the worry over your kids, and staying… Continue Reading “A Note to Single Mamas”

Co-Parenting Judgment

A woman who leaves abuse and then still has to share custody of her children with that abuser has a hard road. So hard. She is expected by society to play nice, be amicable, put her “ego” aside, and unite with her dangerous ex… Continue Reading “Co-Parenting Judgment”

Janna’s SAGE Podcast Appearance

A few weeks ago I was invited to the SAGE Community podcast show. Founder Erin and I talked about what abuse looks like, how survivors need to tackle their healing with patience, some special tools that help, and more. It was really, really good.… Continue Reading “Janna’s SAGE Podcast Appearance”