Tag: gaslighting

It’s Time to Get Comfortable with Yourself

Take the selfie. Save the selfie. Share the selfie. Serious and silly. You don’t have to listen to the noise about how our world is “selfie-obsessed” and “self-absorbed.” If you’ve spent any time at all questioning your appearance, hating your body, or harboring low… Continue Reading “It’s Time to Get Comfortable with Yourself”

Why Perspective May Not Do You Any Favors

Perspective. It’s important. A friend shared with me the other day that by seeing what someone else was going through in their home, she considered for herself, “Maybe it’s not so bad for me.” I agree with her. When we have tunnel vision our… Continue Reading “Why Perspective May Not Do You Any Favors”

What You Sacrifice to Find Yourself

You’ll lose people along your journey. Sometimes it’s because they enable the one who abused you, therefore you cannot maintain connection with them. Sometimes it’s because they believe the lies and rumors, the smear campaign about you, and forsake their connection to you. Sometimes… Continue Reading “What You Sacrifice to Find Yourself”

You Could Call It a “Mystery” Book

It’s never happened to me with a book before. (Movies, though, more times than I can count.) I bought this one in May while on vacation but only recently started reading. It’s 482 pages. Published in 2016. The plot was all brand new until… Continue Reading “You Could Call It a “Mystery” Book”

What Other People Think

It doesn’t matter what the person who abused you thinks. It doesn’t matter what their enablers think. Or what the people with whom you have a personality conflict. Your bully boss, the manipulative friend. That new person you’re dating—don’t start that connection by caring… Continue Reading “What Other People Think”

It’s All Okay

Need a reminder today? I’ve got it for you. It’s okay if all you make for dinner is mac & cheese or Ramen. You’re busy trying to heal. It’s okay if the laundry has piled up. You’re busy trying to heal. It’s okay if… Continue Reading “It’s All Okay”

I Made My Own Flag

The superficial, patriotic noise & nationalist pride of today’s America do not bring me joy on this Independence Day, and give me no cause to celebrate. They can have Old Glory. I made my own flag. As a DV survivor, ally, and advocate, I… Continue Reading “I Made My Own Flag”

A Survivor’s Superpower

Guess what, you? YOU are capable of change and growth and healing. YOU are capable of an authentic life driven by deep joy, satisfaction, and stability. Your abuser is NOT. (A supporting text that will help you understand why is Lundy Bancroft’s book, Why… Continue Reading “A Survivor’s Superpower”

Survivor, Give Solitude a Chance

Solitude is hard to handle when you’re used to chaos. Being alone is difficult when you’ve been conditioned to codependency. Sitting quietly with only one’s thoughts can be torture when those thoughts are dominated by triggers at every turn, and memories of the abuse.… Continue Reading “Survivor, Give Solitude a Chance”

“Am I Being Annoying? Do They Hate Me?” | No, It’s a Trauma Response

I gave this pep talk to my kid this morning, and it just occurred to me that you might need to hear it, too. (I’ve tweaked it some, since you’re probably not an almost-17yo dude. But I watched as enlightenment crossed his face, and… Continue Reading ““Am I Being Annoying? Do They Hate Me?” | No, It’s a Trauma Response”