Tag: financial abuse

How Public Housing Perpetuates a Pattern of Control

“Such narrow, domineering rules feel a lot like the way domestic abuse feels.” This essay has been knocking around my noggin for months. Today I blew the dust off my Medium account and hit “publish.” I hope you’ll take a chance to check it… Continue Reading “How Public Housing Perpetuates a Pattern of Control”

Abuse is Abuse is Abuse

“What if this isn’t really abuse?” “It could be worse, right? It’s not like he hits me.” “Maybe she’s right. Maybe I’m overreacting.” Let me help you here. It IS abuse. Truly. You’re just not comfortable with that word yet because it’s a lot… Continue Reading “Abuse is Abuse is Abuse”

Financial & Post-Separation Abuse

Do you want to talk about financial abuse? Because we should. Financial abuse is a component of domestic abuse 99% of the time. (Source: National Network to End Domestic Violence) It happens when your abuser hides money, spends freely on their wants and needs… Continue Reading “Financial & Post-Separation Abuse”

Understanding Abuse and its Nuances

Let’s review some terms, yeah? Domestic Violence (DV) That word “violence” packs a punch. Many assume violence MUST be physical, but that’s just not so. Violence can happen around you as much as it can happen to you, and it’s not always about kicks… Continue Reading “Understanding Abuse and its Nuances”

For Less Than a Combo Meal

You’re going to think I’m sharing this for a pat on the back, but I promise I’m not. I’m sharing so that you know how close to home it hits, and that if it’s where you are, I know right along with you —… Continue Reading “For Less Than a Combo Meal”

Child Support, Yes or No?

A controversial opinion He informed me early on that he wouldn’t provide child support.  His “logic” was that I was working, too, and that I was making as much money as he was. Support was moot, he said. What he conveniently ignored was that… Continue Reading “Child Support, Yes or No?”

Mentality: Abuser vs. Survivor

(If life after abuse were actually a competition) My abuser thinks he’s the responsible one, but I’m the one who’s done the genuine, invested parenting of our two kids. My abuser believes he’s the selfless one, but I’m the one who has sacrificed everything:… Continue Reading “Mentality: Abuser vs. Survivor”

Are single men and dads financially abused?

There’s a pattern. Some will read this as broad generalization, but the patterns exist because of the patriarchy, because of domestic and financial abuse, and because of how family courts cater to the men who lie about their income and ability to provide for… Continue Reading “Are single men and dads financially abused?”

Janna’s SAGE Podcast Appearance

A few weeks ago I was invited to the SAGE Community podcast show. Founder Erin and I talked about what abuse looks like, how survivors need to tackle their healing with patience, some special tools that help, and more. It was really, really good.… Continue Reading “Janna’s SAGE Podcast Appearance”

Abuse Isn’t Always Physical

“At least he doesn’t hit me.” Raise your hand if ever that was part of your inner monologue. Physical abuse is the easiest to see and prove. That’s why some abusers avoid it, and choose — yes, CHOOSE — the “quiet” and “subtle” abuses.… Continue Reading “Abuse Isn’t Always Physical”