Tag: control

Abuse is Abuse is Abuse

“What if this isn’t really abuse?” “It could be worse, right? It’s not like he hits me.” “Maybe she’s right. Maybe I’m overreacting.” Let me help you here. It IS abuse. Truly. You’re just not comfortable with that word yet because it’s a lot… Continue Reading “Abuse is Abuse is Abuse”

“Am I Being Annoying? Do They Hate Me?” | No, It’s a Trauma Response

I gave this pep talk to my kid this morning, and it just occurred to me that you might need to hear it, too. (I’ve tweaked it some, since you’re probably not an almost-17yo dude. But I watched as enlightenment crossed his face, and… Continue Reading ““Am I Being Annoying? Do They Hate Me?” | No, It’s a Trauma Response”

Your Abuser’s Trauma is No Excuse

Okay, so your abuser had a traumatic childhood. Something life-changing, perhaps horrifying, happened to them. The stuff nightmares are made of. It was out of their control. Or maybe they were, for example, raised by a detached, materialistic father and callous, dismissive mother, so… Continue Reading “Your Abuser’s Trauma is No Excuse”

No Formal Education Needed to Survive and Thrive

I don’t have any degrees. I’ve no formal education. Oh, I had a plan for college. Took some early classes that didn’t go anywhere. Dreamed of this career or that and had a fuzzy view of the future for myself but then, simply put,… Continue Reading “No Formal Education Needed to Survive and Thrive”

A Note for Survivor Supporters

Those who have never experienced an abusive relationship assume that at the inception of one they would take charge and respond with empowerment immediately. “I would NEVER allow that.” But a domestic abuse truth is that its victims are groomed and conditioned from the… Continue Reading “A Note for Survivor Supporters”

Why is Money So Important to My Abuser?

THE TRUTH BEHIND FINANCIAL ABUSE | Samantha has started seeing the patterns when it comes to money. “He spends freely on himself, like on his toys and fun stuff and trips with the guys, but if I spend money — even on household needs… Continue Reading “Why is Money So Important to My Abuser?”

The Old Me Would Have Been a Trump Supporter

MINDSET THAT LEADS TO TRUMPISM | And why I cannot accept a world where Trump reigns [As published on Medium… full essay linked below the excerpt.] As we near the end of Donald Trump’s single-term presidency, only one thing is more clear to me… Continue Reading “The Old Me Would Have Been a Trump Supporter”