WOMAN, DETERMINED
Creative Works & Advocacy
Category: Abuse Against Women
Are single men and dads financially abused?
There’s a pattern. Some will read this as broad generalization, but the patterns exist because of the patriarchy, because of domestic and financial abuse, and because of how family courts cater to the men who lie about their income and ability to provide for… Continue Reading “Are single men and dads financially abused?”
Throw Meatloaf, Not Axes
You know those ax throwing places? Hear me out. It’s like that except only for DV survivors, and it’s a three-parter… Room 1 is filled with quiet, kind chefs who walk you through a recipe, from selection to completion. You take pictures of your… Continue Reading “Throw Meatloaf, Not Axes”
When Bystanders Think You Gave Your Abuser Permission
More victim blaming and shaming. Bystanders love that sh*t, because they think they have it all figured out, and also because they don’t know any better. Survivors do know better. We know that we are in control of very little during the abuse. This… Continue Reading “When Bystanders Think You Gave Your Abuser Permission”
About that Thing Abusers (and Enablers) Like to Call “Parental Alienation”
Originally posted on Breaking the Silence for Women 11/6/21. This morning I woke to notification of a comment that has since been deleted by its writer. That’s okay. Either they decided not to risk a public comment that the wrong people might see, or… Continue Reading “About that Thing Abusers (and Enablers) Like to Call “Parental Alienation””
But You’re Over It, Right?
If you haven’t experienced this yet, you will. Someone you’re getting to know, and starting to feel comfortable telling The Story of You to, will interrupt and say, “But you’re over it, right?” “It” being the abuse you endured for months, possible years. And… Continue Reading “But You’re Over It, Right?”
Lessons from a Wispy Spider
This short essay originally appeared on Breaking the Silence for Women a year ago today. “Though she be but little, she is fierce.” This morning while I was in my workplace bathroom, I noticed a small and wispy spider climbing the wall. Her mission… Continue Reading “Lessons from a Wispy Spider”
Even Advocates (like me) Don’t Have Our Sh*t Together 100% of the Time
Please don’t set your sights on some too-high, impossibly unattainable perception of post-abuse perfection. What you’re doing is enough.How you’re learning and adapting is enough.Who you are <right now> is enough. We are human — something our abusers couldn’t allow, what with all the… Continue Reading “Even Advocates (like me) Don’t Have Our Sh*t Together 100% of the Time”
This is Lesson #1 in Healing
The #1 lesson I’ve learned in my personal journey is that it doesn’t matter what other people think of you. The journey for any survivor of abuse is in learning your self-worth, and building your self-confidence so as to be unshakable. This is to… Continue Reading “This is Lesson #1 in Healing”
Here’s How to Level Up in the Challenge of Healing
In no particular order, at no particular pace. Each realization gives you a boost. Some of them are serial. > identify a red flag> recognize someone’s manipulation> assert a boundary> speak up> break the habit of automatically saying “I’m sorry”> let someone have the… Continue Reading “Here’s How to Level Up in the Challenge of Healing”
A Note to Single Mamas
Single Mama, I see you. I’ve *been* you for 10 years. I know how hard it is to do things on your own. Lean into it. Through the overwhelm and challenge comes your strength and empowerment. Through the worry over your kids, and staying… Continue Reading “A Note to Single Mamas”
WOMAN, DETERMINED 