The truth is, you don’t miss your abuser. Not really. It just feels like it because your hurt over being treated so grossly is so big.
You miss who they initially pretended to be and hooked you with, and/or the person you wanted them to be and totally deserve — which is someone they are incapable of.
Another possibility to consider is that we are forced and conditioned into codependency through the abuse, then when we’re suddenly without that relationship — even by our own choice — we don’t know how to be alone.
This void hurts.
It’s also why too many of us rush into the next relationship, in an effort to fill that void without fully understanding why it exists, or that there are healthier ways to move forward.
But the void, the missing, is something we have to sit with, challenge, dissect, face head on, and get to the other side of so that we can break the cycle of codependency.