Category: Living Your Own Life

How to Deal with Abuse

Step 1: Listen to that tiny voice when it says you deserve better. Step 2: Internalize that you need to leave. Step 3: Figure out a way to leave, then leave. Or leave even without a clear plan. Whatever it takes, hopefully with a… Continue Reading “How to Deal with Abuse”

A Note for Survivor Supporters

Those who have never experienced an abusive relationship assume that at the inception of one they would take charge and respond with empowerment immediately. “I would NEVER allow that.” But a domestic abuse truth is that its victims are groomed and conditioned from the… Continue Reading “A Note for Survivor Supporters”

You Are Enough

Three simple words. Many people blow right by them; the phrase doesn’t even register. Those are the people who have never questioned their worth. They don’t carry a deficit in validation. They weren’t devalued, over and over again, by someone who was supposed to… Continue Reading “You Are Enough”

Trans Youth Affirmation is Not Abuse

Every American politician who’s currently trying to take away transgender rights, with special vitriol aimed at our youth, needs to sit face-to-face with a well educated mom who affirms her trans kid. Let them try to look in her eyes, on her turf, maybe… Continue Reading “Trans Youth Affirmation is Not Abuse”

On Will Smith

(from a white woman) I feel like, given my platform, I have to say at least this: I’ve long adored Will Smith, and as a fairly devout fan I’m overwhelmed by disappointment. But that disappointment is underpinned by the fact that I carry an… Continue Reading “On Will Smith”

A Note About Spiritual Abuse

Sundays are bittersweet. While I’ve found my peace and carve the day my way now, usually at home, which is my absolute favorite place I remember what it was like before, when I woke up, brainwashed, and just did what was expected of me,… Continue Reading “A Note About Spiritual Abuse”

Healing and Growth Are Found in Solitude

How often do you remember to pause and center? If you haven’t realized yet, let me tell you that it’s imperative to our hurting and healing journey. Today’s Facebook memories served me this photo and its caption: “I have come to the park to… Continue Reading “Healing and Growth Are Found in Solitude”

Whose Permission Do You Need?

What’s your relationship with approval? I ask because I had an epiphany this week. To summarize its cause, I finished Will Smith’s autobiography, WILL, wherein he wrote about his decades-long struggle to gain the approval of others: in his most personal relationships, among friends,… Continue Reading “Whose Permission Do You Need?”

What DV Survivors Need

It’s probably not your advice Can we stop averting our eyes and pretending that survivors don’t really have it all that bad and asking women to “just get over it” and “move on” when the truth is that the conditioning and consequences from emotional,… Continue Reading “What DV Survivors Need”

For the Women Who

This post is for the women who learned the hard way that Plan A was never meant to be, and for the women who’ve found themselves through the lessons of Plan B and maybe Plan C or as many “plans” as it’s taken to… Continue Reading “For the Women Who”