Category: Advice
Posted on July 20, 2022
by Janna
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I’m remembering the time someone suggested that I’ve gotten where I am — healing, sharing, teaching — because I must have had more and better resources than other survivors. If she’d had any idea how long I’ve struggled financially and fought emotionally, how many… Continue Reading “Resources Do Not a Survivor Make”
Category: Abuse Against Women, Advice, Advocacy & Education, Living Your Own Life, Opinion, Personal Essay, Self Empowerment, Self ImprovementTags: education, empowerment, healing, help, resources, self help, support, survivor, survivor mentality, victim mentality, warrior
Posted on July 19, 2022
by Janna
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It’s never happened to me with a book before. (Movies, though, more times than I can count.) I bought this one in May while on vacation but only recently started reading. It’s 482 pages. Published in 2016. The plot was all brand new until… Continue Reading “You Could Call It a “Mystery” Book”
Category: Abuse Against Women, Advice, Advocacy & Education, Books & Resources, Living Your Own Life, Opinion, Personal Essay, Self Empowerment, Self ImprovementTags: abuse, abusive relationships, advocacy, after abuse, anxiety, books, DV, fiction, forgetfulness, gaslighting, healing, Nicholas Sparks, post-separation abuse, projection, psychological abuse, reading, self-care, stonewalling, survivor, trauma
Posted on July 17, 2022
by Janna
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It doesn’t matter what the person who abused you thinks. It doesn’t matter what their enablers think. Or what the people with whom you have a personality conflict. Your bully boss, the manipulative friend. That new person you’re dating—don’t start that connection by caring… Continue Reading “What Other People Think”
Category: Abuse Against Women, Advice, Advocacy & Education, Living Your Own Life, Opinion, Personal Essay, Self Empowerment, Self ImprovementTags: abuse survivors, domestic abuse, emotional abuse, gaslighting, healing, manipulation, narcissistic abuse, self-confidence, self-empowerment, self-love, self-worth, starting over after abuse, survivor
Posted on July 11, 2022
by Janna
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Need a reminder today? I’ve got it for you. It’s okay if all you make for dinner is mac & cheese or Ramen. You’re busy trying to heal. It’s okay if the laundry has piled up. You’re busy trying to heal. It’s okay if… Continue Reading “It’s All Okay”
Category: Abuse Against Women, Advice, Advocacy & Education, Living Your Own Life, Opinion, Personal Essay, Self Empowerment, Self ImprovementTags: abuse survivors, domestic abuse, Domestic Violence, emotional abuse, gaslighting, healing, manipulation, narcissistic abuse, starting over after abuse, survivor
Posted on June 22, 2022
by Janna
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I’m no wiz in the kitchen but I’ve been working for years on this recipe that I’d like to share. It takes time to make, fair warning, and it can get super messy. Also, while the specific ingredients I’ve listed are important and necessary—I… Continue Reading “Recipe for Happiness”
Category: Abuse Against Women, Advice, Advocacy & Education, Living Your Own Life, Opinion, Personal Essay, Self Empowerment, Self ImprovementTags: boundaries, DV awareness, education, empowerment, healing, independence, self-love, self-worth, solitude, strength, survivor, triggers
Posted on June 19, 2022
by Janna
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Guess what, you? YOU are capable of change and growth and healing. YOU are capable of an authentic life driven by deep joy, satisfaction, and stability. Your abuser is NOT. (A supporting text that will help you understand why is Lundy Bancroft’s book, Why… Continue Reading “A Survivor’s Superpower”
Category: Abuse Against Women, Advice, Advocacy & Education, Books & Resources, Living Your Own Life, Opinion, Personal Essay, Personality Disorders (abusive), Self Empowerment, Self ImprovementTags: abuse survivors, authentic happiness, domestic abuse, Domestic Violence, emotional abuse, gaslighting, healing, joy, Lundy Bancroft, manipulation, narcissistic abuse, responsibility, stability, starting over after abuse, superpower, survivor
Posted on June 15, 2022
by Janna
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THEM: “You’ve changed.” YOU: “I had to. Can’t you see?” Not everyone’s going to understand or support the transformation that’s required of your hurting and healing journey. Change anyway. Some will think that when you finally start expressing your opinion, you’re being argumentative. Be… Continue Reading “Change Anyway, Survivor”
Category: Abuse Against Women, Advice, Advocacy & Education, Living Your Own Life, Opinion, Personal Essay, Self Empowerment, Self ImprovementTags: boundaries, healing, independence, life after abuse, starting over, survivor, transformation
Posted on June 12, 2022
by Janna
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Solitude is hard to handle when you’re used to chaos. Being alone is difficult when you’ve been conditioned to codependency. Sitting quietly with only one’s thoughts can be torture when those thoughts are dominated by triggers at every turn, and memories of the abuse.… Continue Reading “Survivor, Give Solitude a Chance”
Category: Abuse Against Women, Advice, Advocacy & Education, Living Your Own Life, Opinion, Personal Essay, Self Empowerment, Self ImprovementTags: abuse survivors, chaos, codependence, conditioning, domestic abuse, emotional abuse, gaslighting, healing, independence, manipulation, narcissistic abuse, peace, solitude, starting over after abuse, survivor
Posted on June 8, 2022
by Janna
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My best friend collects heart-shaped rocks. I’m not sure you would believe the sheer amount and variety her devotion has rendered. It’s impressive, and makes one want to start their own collection. She gave me this one. Can you guess why by the visual?… Continue Reading “Tattered Hearts and Their Repairers”
Category: Abuse Against Women, Advice, Advocacy & Education, Living Your Own Life, Opinion, Personal Essay, Self Empowerment, Self ImprovementTags: after abuse, broken, domestic abuse, emotional abuse, healing, hurting, intimate partner violence, narcissistic abuse, psychological abuse, save ourselves, surviving, survivor, trauma
Posted on June 7, 2022
by Janna
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I gave this pep talk to my kid this morning, and it just occurred to me that you might need to hear it, too. (I’ve tweaked it some, since you’re probably not an almost-17yo dude. But I watched as enlightenment crossed his face, and… Continue Reading ““Am I Being Annoying? Do They Hate Me?” | No, It’s a Trauma Response”
Category: Abuse Against Women, Advice, Advocacy & Education, Living Your Own Life, Opinion, Personal Essay, Self Empowerment, Self ImprovementTags: anxiety, brainswashing, coercion, conditioning, control, education, emotional abuse, empowerment, fear, gaslighting, healing, mental abuse, psychological abuse, survivor, trauma, trauma responses
WOMAN, DETERMINED 