“At least he doesn’t hit me.”
Raise your hand if ever that was part of your inner monologue.
Physical abuse is the easiest to see and prove.
That’s why some abusers avoid it, and choose — yes, CHOOSE — the “quiet” and “subtle” abuses. They’re usually interwoven and overlapping. Every version is about power and control.
Abuse can be verbal, emotional, psychological, sexual, spiritual, or financial.
Yelling, berating, and name calling is abuse.
Degradation and condescension and character assassination are abuse.
Gaslighting — the art of making a victim question her sanity — is abuse.
Yes, a spouse can rape their partner. That’s abuse.
Using religion and Scripture as a weapon is abuse.
Giving an “allowance” and hiding money are abuse, as is making the victim feel like she isn’t “contributing” in life or to the family unless she, too, is earning money.
Any of this familiar?
We should also review that physical abuse manifests in more ways than a punch to the face.
It can be:
*physical intimidation or restraint
*starvation or a forced diet/exercise
He may never lay a hand on you, and yet you may be victim of severe abuse with long-lasting effects and damage.
If you need help understanding the abuse at work in your life, message me using firstname.lastname@example.org. We’ll talk about it carefully and confidentially.