Tag: survivor

I Don’t Give Away Permission for Others to Make Me Feel Small

It gets easier. It gets easier to recognize what it was about your abuser’s behavior that made you feel small, then understand that it was never your fault, then repair the hurt that came from the degradation and condescension. From there it gets easier… Continue Reading “I Don’t Give Away Permission for Others to Make Me Feel Small”

An Open Letter to My Abuser | FREE printable

Letter writing and journaling are important exercises that assist our understanding of what we’ve been through. But sometimes it’s hard to know where to start. I’ve designed a free printable with this in mind. It’s yours for the taking! Please download, print, and use… Continue Reading “An Open Letter to My Abuser | FREE printable”

Abuse Isn’t Always Physical

“At least he doesn’t hit me.” Raise your hand if ever that was part of your inner monologue. Physical abuse is the easiest to see and prove. That’s why some abusers avoid it, and choose — yes, CHOOSE — the “quiet” and “subtle” abuses.… Continue Reading “Abuse Isn’t Always Physical”

Reclaim the Places of Hurting

Revisit the places where you cried, fought, or felt tiny, and reclaim them in your strength Last year I drove by myself to Des Moines from the Kansas City area. It was a Saturday in May, nice weather. An impulsive decision. I decided to… Continue Reading “Reclaim the Places of Hurting”

She May Not Leave Because…

We each have our own pace. Our own awareness. Our own willingness. Our own awakening. That is our hope, anyway. Right? That each victim awakens and undergoes her journey toward survival and then, eventually, she thrives. The other day I used the term “willful… Continue Reading “She May Not Leave Because…”

Survivor Shadow

Some days I feel like a shadow of my normal self. Surviving is hard. Thriving is hard, too, because you can easily fool yourself into thinking that when you’ve been through so much, and after you’ve come so far, you have to stay up,… Continue Reading “Survivor Shadow”

Sunday Spirituality

People assume it’s the hard wood of a church pew that makes it so uncomfortable for long periods. But a woman who’s had to listen to a sermon about love and kindness and humility and doing for others and forgiveness, etc., etc., while sitting… Continue Reading “Sunday Spirituality”

Little Rebellions, Big Impact

This afternoon I received a message with a picture. It was from a friend and survivor I’ve been coaching as she establishes her own household. It hasn’t been long since she left her abuser, so every inch of change and progress is a small… Continue Reading “Little Rebellions, Big Impact”

Summer Anniversary

Ten years ago I moved out, filed for divorce, and started over. In those ten years I have: criedfought for myselfcelebratedbeen challengedfailedralliedfound my real selfbeen consumed by doubthelped other womenset boundariesloveddone a lot of things by myself for the first time everheld onto hopenetworked… Continue Reading “Summer Anniversary”

When Power Becomes Hers | flash fiction

The living room is bare but for her secondhand couch, a lone end table, and the anxiety she just can’t shake. He isn’t supposed to visit where she lives now, but that doesn’t still the race in her heart. Will he show up at… Continue Reading “When Power Becomes Hers | flash fiction”