Tag: manipulation

On Will Smith

(from a white woman) I feel like, given my platform, I have to say at least this: I’ve long adored Will Smith, and as a fairly devout fan I’m overwhelmed by disappointment. But that disappointment is underpinned by the fact that I carry an… Continue Reading “On Will Smith”

A Note About Spiritual Abuse

Sundays are bittersweet. While I’ve found my peace and carve the day my way now, usually at home, which is my absolute favorite place I remember what it was like before, when I woke up, brainwashed, and just did what was expected of me,… Continue Reading “A Note About Spiritual Abuse”

Healing and Growth Are Found in Solitude

How often do you remember to pause and center? If you haven’t realized yet, let me tell you that it’s imperative to our hurting and healing journey. Today’s Facebook memories served me this photo and its caption: “I have come to the park to… Continue Reading “Healing and Growth Are Found in Solitude”

Whose Permission Do You Need?

What’s your relationship with approval? I ask because I had an epiphany this week. To summarize its cause, I finished Will Smith’s autobiography, WILL, wherein he wrote about his decades-long struggle to gain the approval of others: in his most personal relationships, among friends,… Continue Reading “Whose Permission Do You Need?”

Spring Lessons from Long Ago

The weather is beautiful where I live today. Spring is on its way. It reminds me of a time, years ago, when I was still married and my firstborn was around two. My then-husband and I flew with her to Florida for an extended… Continue Reading “Spring Lessons from Long Ago”

You’re Doing Great, Survivor Mama

This coparenting-with-your-abuser thing is probably the gnarliest, most all-consuming challenge of your life. But I want you to know it’s not a competition. Your abuser is behaving as though it is, but it’s not. Let them carry on in such a way. You can… Continue Reading “You’re Doing Great, Survivor Mama”

Where is the Good When You Need It?

It’s okay to set aside suffering and relish simple happiness. Right now so many things feel torn apart and it’s a burden on the feelers among us. Where I am, in the United States, conservative leaders are attacking our LGBTQ youth, especially those who… Continue Reading “Where is the Good When You Need It?”

For Less Than a Combo Meal

You’re going to think I’m sharing this for a pat on the back, but I promise I’m not. I’m sharing so that you know how close to home it hits, and that if it’s where you are, I know right along with you —… Continue Reading “For Less Than a Combo Meal”

Single Survivor, I See You

A note for Valentine’s Day Whether you’re newly solo, or it’s already been a long journey on your own. Whether you still hurt more than you’ve healed, or if the healing finally makes it hurt less. Whether you’ve sworn off romantic relationships, or look… Continue Reading “Single Survivor, I See You”

Why Your Abuser Isn’t Moving On

They’re running from the truth I was chatting with two survivor friends this morning, and I mentioned that what we (usually) get right after abusive relationships is actually taking the time to process and learn and heal. Conversely, the ones who did the damage… Continue Reading “Why Your Abuser Isn’t Moving On”