WOMAN, DETERMINED
Creative Works & Advocacy
Tag: healing
Abortion and Bananas
I was thinking this morning about how a banana is not banana bread. A banana will never be banana bread unless a perfect sequence of events happens, from removing its peel and mashing it in a bowl to dumping in flour and adding the… Continue Reading “Abortion and Bananas”
Even Advocates (like me) Don’t Have Our Sh*t Together 100% of the Time
Please don’t set your sights on some too-high, impossibly unattainable perception of post-abuse perfection. What you’re doing is enough.How you’re learning and adapting is enough.Who you are <right now> is enough. We are human — something our abusers couldn’t allow, what with all the… Continue Reading “Even Advocates (like me) Don’t Have Our Sh*t Together 100% of the Time”
This is Lesson #1 in Healing
The #1 lesson I’ve learned in my personal journey is that it doesn’t matter what other people think of you. The journey for any survivor of abuse is in learning your self-worth, and building your self-confidence so as to be unshakable. This is to… Continue Reading “This is Lesson #1 in Healing”
Here’s How to Level Up in the Challenge of Healing
In no particular order, at no particular pace. Each realization gives you a boost. Some of them are serial. > identify a red flag> recognize someone’s manipulation> assert a boundary> speak up> break the habit of automatically saying “I’m sorry”> let someone have the… Continue Reading “Here’s How to Level Up in the Challenge of Healing”
A Note to Single Mamas
Single Mama, I see you. I’ve *been* you for 10 years. I know how hard it is to do things on your own. Lean into it. Through the overwhelm and challenge comes your strength and empowerment. Through the worry over your kids, and staying… Continue Reading “A Note to Single Mamas”
Co-Parenting Judgment
A woman who leaves abuse and then still has to share custody of her children with that abuser has a hard road. So hard. She is expected by society to play nice, be amicable, put her “ego” aside, and unite with her dangerous ex… Continue Reading “Co-Parenting Judgment”
Janna’s SAGE Podcast Appearance
A few weeks ago I was invited to the SAGE Community podcast show. Founder Erin and I talked about what abuse looks like, how survivors need to tackle their healing with patience, some special tools that help, and more. It was really, really good.… Continue Reading “Janna’s SAGE Podcast Appearance”
Selfies as Self-Worth
Let’s talk about self-image. How comfortable are you taking pictures of yourself? What do you think when you look at you? Does your abuser’s voice still narrate your perception of self? This is me in 2014. I had been divorced a few years already,… Continue Reading “Selfies as Self-Worth”
You Have More Worth in the Underside of Your Little Toe Than Your Abuser Does in Their Whole Body
Why? Because you’re the real one. You’re the one who cares about others. You’re the one with emotional intelligence. You’re the one with legitimate goals and ambitions. You’re the one willing to reflect and self-assess. You’re the one who strives to be better. You’re… Continue Reading “You Have More Worth in the Underside of Your Little Toe Than Your Abuser Does in Their Whole Body”
I Don’t Give Away Permission for Others to Make Me Feel Small
It gets easier. It gets easier to recognize what it was about your abuser’s behavior that made you feel small, then understand that it was never your fault, then repair the hurt that came from the degradation and condescension. From there it gets easier… Continue Reading “I Don’t Give Away Permission for Others to Make Me Feel Small”
WOMAN, DETERMINED 