Tag: healing

“Am I Being Annoying? Do They Hate Me?” | No, It’s a Trauma Response

I gave this pep talk to my kid this morning, and it just occurred to me that you might need to hear it, too. (I’ve tweaked it some, since you’re probably not an almost-17yo dude. But I watched as enlightenment crossed his face, and… Continue Reading ““Am I Being Annoying? Do They Hate Me?” | No, It’s a Trauma Response”

Let’s Talk About Forgiveness

Many pieces of our American society — especially through the arm of Western religion — make you think that forgiveness (releasing another from the harm they’ve done you) is required for your peace and well-being. My hot take is that forgiveness toward the one… Continue Reading “Let’s Talk About Forgiveness”

What’s Not Okay

It’s okay if you don’t know what you’re doing. What’s not okay is anyone in your support system making you feel bad about it. It’s okay if others want to help you. What’s not okay is for them to take control the way your… Continue Reading “What’s Not Okay”

Death: Why My Life Started Over

My sweet dad took his last breath on this day twelve years ago. I was in the room when it happened. In fact, I was the one who realized he wasn’t breathing anymore. Hospice warns you, you know. They’ve gotten really good at estimating… Continue Reading “Death: Why My Life Started Over”

Life in the Trenches

A reframe Sometimes, to victims learning how to survive, it feels like life is stuck “in the trenches.” We use the idiom when we’re feeling beaten down, challenged, heartbroken, threatened, damaged. When we’ve forgotten our hope. Merriam-Webster defines the phrase as “a place or… Continue Reading “Life in the Trenches”

Financial & Post-Separation Abuse

Do you want to talk about financial abuse? Because we should. Financial abuse is a component of domestic abuse 99% of the time. (Source: National Network to End Domestic Violence) It happens when your abuser hides money, spends freely on their wants and needs… Continue Reading “Financial & Post-Separation Abuse”

Your Abuser’s Trauma is No Excuse

Okay, so your abuser had a traumatic childhood. Something life-changing, perhaps horrifying, happened to them. The stuff nightmares are made of. It was out of their control. Or maybe they were, for example, raised by a detached, materialistic father and callous, dismissive mother, so… Continue Reading “Your Abuser’s Trauma is No Excuse”

What to Say to Yourself

Because your abuser never did Things your abuser should have said to you, and meant with every fiber, include: * You’re beautiful. * Thank you for everything you do. * How can I help you today? * You’re talented. * I love your eyes/hair/caboose/brain/fashion… Continue Reading “What to Say to Yourself”

No Formal Education Needed to Survive and Thrive

I don’t have any degrees. I’ve no formal education. Oh, I had a plan for college. Took some early classes that didn’t go anywhere. Dreamed of this career or that and had a fuzzy view of the future for myself but then, simply put,… Continue Reading “No Formal Education Needed to Survive and Thrive”

I Will If You Will

You. Woman with so much on your plate, I see you. Because while your journey may not run parallel to mine, I know how heavy the burden gets. We are …running a household, maybe with a helpful partner, maybe without one at all. Either… Continue Reading “I Will If You Will”