Tag: gaslighting

Empowerment Tools Just for You

Did you know I’ve created some empowerment tools with you in mind? They took root as I’ve monitored my own journey, and begun to advocate for others. Pictured are two new journals, both available through Amazon. Self-Love Letters is an 8.5×11 workbook for any… Continue Reading “Empowerment Tools Just for You”

Mentality: Abuser vs. Survivor

(If life after abuse were actually a competition) My abuser thinks he’s the responsible one, but I’m the one who’s done the genuine, invested parenting of our two kids. My abuser believes he’s the selfless one, but I’m the one who has sacrificed everything:… Continue Reading “Mentality: Abuser vs. Survivor”

You Can Do Anything

But not everything (and that’s okay) During an abusive relationship we are convinced and conditioned to believe that we can’t do anything right, aren’t smart enough, have no special skills, etc., etc. And, speaking from personal experience here, I think it’s fair to say… Continue Reading “You Can Do Anything”

Skip Down Memory Lane

Because that’s where I left my heart My first blog, years ago, was called Something She Wrote. You could enter that phrase into your search bar and find it online; still read the old me. Not sure you’d want to. I don’t. That gal… Continue Reading “Skip Down Memory Lane”

Which Half of the Equation Needs to Be Fixed?

So it’s ALWAYS going to be in a survivor’s best interest to learn how to heal and create a new life for herself after abuse. That’s how she gets her power back. Moving on is “revenge.” But survivors need outspoken and aggressive allies, too.… Continue Reading “Which Half of the Equation Needs to Be Fixed?”

Your Own Grace

Survivor, you deserve and owe yourself all the grace in the world. Please remember as you find your backbone, and stabilize your emotions, and learn how to be firm — even “bitchy,” as some will interpret when and where your newfound boundaries demand a… Continue Reading “Your Own Grace”

To Be or Not to Be Quiet About Abuse

We’ve talked about it before, about how we are shamed and scared into silence by our abusers and our attorneys and the family courts system. We’ve also talked about how being too bold with what we share, especially if we’re involved with family court,… Continue Reading “To Be or Not to Be Quiet About Abuse”

What Does It Mean If I Miss My Abuser?

The truth is, you don’t miss your abuser. Not really. It just feels like it because your hurt over being treated so grossly is so big. You miss who they initially pretended to be and hooked you with, and/or the person you wanted them… Continue Reading “What Does It Mean If I Miss My Abuser?”

Are single men and dads financially abused?

There’s a pattern. Some will read this as broad generalization, but the patterns exist because of the patriarchy, because of domestic and financial abuse, and because of how family courts cater to the men who lie about their income and ability to provide for… Continue Reading “Are single men and dads financially abused?”

When Bystanders Think You Gave Your Abuser Permission

More victim blaming and shaming. Bystanders love that sh*t, because they think they have it all figured out, and also because they don’t know any better. Survivors do know better. We know that we are in control of very little during the abuse. This… Continue Reading “When Bystanders Think You Gave Your Abuser Permission”