Tag: gaslighting

Abuse Isn’t Always Physical

“At least he doesn’t hit me.” Raise your hand if ever that was part of your inner monologue. Physical abuse is the easiest to see and prove. That’s why some abusers avoid it, and choose — yes, CHOOSE — the “quiet” and “subtle” abuses.… Continue Reading “Abuse Isn’t Always Physical”

Reclaim the Places of Hurting

Revisit the places where you cried, fought, or felt tiny, and reclaim them in your strength Last year I drove by myself to Des Moines from the Kansas City area. It was a Saturday in May, nice weather. An impulsive decision. I decided to… Continue Reading “Reclaim the Places of Hurting”

She May Not Leave Because…

We each have our own pace. Our own awareness. Our own willingness. Our own awakening. That is our hope, anyway. Right? That each victim awakens and undergoes her journey toward survival and then, eventually, she thrives. The other day I used the term “willful… Continue Reading “She May Not Leave Because…”

Impression Management is the Game

Sometimes it’s as simple as wearing a smile on your face, and being so, so careful about how much you say and to whom, so that no one knows how bad it really is. Sometimes it’s more grandiose, a kind of overcompensation meant to… Continue Reading “Impression Management is the Game”

Sunday Spirituality

People assume it’s the hard wood of a church pew that makes it so uncomfortable for long periods. But a woman who’s had to listen to a sermon about love and kindness and humility and doing for others and forgiveness, etc., etc., while sitting… Continue Reading “Sunday Spirituality”

Lessons for an Advocate

Show me a woman who uses her voice to speak for others, and I’ll show you a woman who gets attacked by misguided bullies and internet trolls. When you decide to take a path in advocacy, you’ve got to have thick skin. You have… Continue Reading “Lessons for an Advocate”

When Power Becomes Hers | flash fiction

The living room is bare but for her secondhand couch, a lone end table, and the anxiety she just can’t shake. He isn’t supposed to visit where she lives now, but that doesn’t still the race in her heart. Will he show up at… Continue Reading “When Power Becomes Hers | flash fiction”

Survivor Healing Cannot Begin with the Abuser at the Helm

UNITY FOLLOWING ABUSE IS NOT POSSIBLE | When a woman leaves her abusive partner — that is, truly leaves after however many prior attempts, and has finally made it clear she will not return to the relationship — he will try, with his arsenal… Continue Reading “Survivor Healing Cannot Begin with the Abuser at the Helm”

Widow Misses Dead Abuser

WHEN YOUR ABUSER DIES | It was a long marriage that included physical violence, infidelity, and financial abuse — along with the standard psychological tactics, like love bombing, gaslighting, and manipulation. So given everything her husband put her through, and the destructive aftermath he’s responsible for,… Continue Reading “Widow Misses Dead Abuser”

The Old Me Would Have Been a Trump Supporter

MINDSET THAT LEADS TO TRUMPISM | And why I cannot accept a world where Trump reigns [As published on Medium… full essay linked below the excerpt.] As we near the end of Donald Trump’s single-term presidency, only one thing is more clear to me… Continue Reading “The Old Me Would Have Been a Trump Supporter”