Tag: emotional abuse

Your Abuser’s Trauma is No Excuse

Okay, so your abuser had a traumatic childhood. Something life-changing, perhaps horrifying, happened to them. The stuff nightmares are made of. It was out of their control. Or maybe they were, for example, raised by a detached, materialistic father and callous, dismissive mother, so… Continue Reading “Your Abuser’s Trauma is No Excuse”

What to Say to Yourself

Because your abuser never did Things your abuser should have said to you, and meant with every fiber, include: * You’re beautiful. * Thank you for everything you do. * How can I help you today? * You’re talented. * I love your eyes/hair/caboose/brain/fashion… Continue Reading “What to Say to Yourself”

It’s Okay to Be Single, Survivor

Maybe you need to hear it’s okay to be single. The conditioning that forced us into codependency makes us think differently, at least at first. And the emotional neglect, the deficit in love and respect we carry after abuse, makes us needy. We want… Continue Reading “It’s Okay to Be Single, Survivor”

You Are Enough

Three simple words. Many people blow right by them; the phrase doesn’t even register. Those are the people who have never questioned their worth. They don’t carry a deficit in validation. They weren’t devalued, over and over again, by someone who was supposed to… Continue Reading “You Are Enough”

Trans Youth Affirmation is Not Abuse

Every American politician who’s currently trying to take away transgender rights, with special vitriol aimed at our youth, needs to sit face-to-face with a well educated mom who affirms her trans kid. Let them try to look in her eyes, on her turf, maybe… Continue Reading “Trans Youth Affirmation is Not Abuse”

Understanding Abuse and its Nuances

Let’s review some terms, yeah? Domestic Violence (DV) That word “violence” packs a punch. Many assume violence MUST be physical, but that’s just not so. Violence can happen around you as much as it can happen to you, and it’s not always about kicks… Continue Reading “Understanding Abuse and its Nuances”

On Will Smith

(from a white woman) I feel like, given my platform, I have to say at least this: I’ve long adored Will Smith, and as a fairly devout fan I’m overwhelmed by disappointment. But that disappointment is underpinned by the fact that I carry an… Continue Reading “On Will Smith”

A Note About Spiritual Abuse

Sundays are bittersweet. While I’ve found my peace and carve the day my way now, usually at home, which is my absolute favorite place I remember what it was like before, when I woke up, brainwashed, and just did what was expected of me,… Continue Reading “A Note About Spiritual Abuse”

Healing and Growth Are Found in Solitude

How often do you remember to pause and center? If you haven’t realized yet, let me tell you that it’s imperative to our hurting and healing journey. Today’s Facebook memories served me this photo and its caption: “I have come to the park to… Continue Reading “Healing and Growth Are Found in Solitude”

Whose Permission Do You Need?

What’s your relationship with approval? I ask because I had an epiphany this week. To summarize its cause, I finished Will Smith’s autobiography, WILL, wherein he wrote about his decades-long struggle to gain the approval of others: in his most personal relationships, among friends,… Continue Reading “Whose Permission Do You Need?”