Tag: domestic abuse

Politics and Religion and Abuse Toward Women

I used to belong to a conservative Christian church. I wasn’t raised in it, or in any church. In fact I was always thankful my parents never forced religion on me. That opened me to visiting different, diverse denominations with my friends over the… Continue Reading “Politics and Religion and Abuse Toward Women”

What to Say to Yourself

Because your abuser never did Things your abuser should have said to you, and meant with every fiber, include: * You’re beautiful. * Thank you for everything you do. * How can I help you today? * You’re talented. * I love your eyes/hair/caboose/brain/fashion… Continue Reading “What to Say to Yourself”

It’s Okay to Be Single, Survivor

Maybe you need to hear it’s okay to be single. The conditioning that forced us into codependency makes us think differently, at least at first. And the emotional neglect, the deficit in love and respect we carry after abuse, makes us needy. We want… Continue Reading “It’s Okay to Be Single, Survivor”

How to Deal with Abuse

Step 1: Listen to that tiny voice when it says you deserve better. Step 2: Internalize that you need to leave. Step 3: Figure out a way to leave, then leave. Or leave even without a clear plan. Whatever it takes, hopefully with a… Continue Reading “How to Deal with Abuse”

A Note for Survivor Supporters

Those who have never experienced an abusive relationship assume that at the inception of one they would take charge and respond with empowerment immediately. “I would NEVER allow that.” But a domestic abuse truth is that its victims are groomed and conditioned from the… Continue Reading “A Note for Survivor Supporters”

You Are Enough

Three simple words. Many people blow right by them; the phrase doesn’t even register. Those are the people who have never questioned their worth. They don’t carry a deficit in validation. They weren’t devalued, over and over again, by someone who was supposed to… Continue Reading “You Are Enough”

Trans Youth Affirmation is Not Abuse

Every American politician who’s currently trying to take away transgender rights, with special vitriol aimed at our youth, needs to sit face-to-face with a well educated mom who affirms her trans kid. Let them try to look in her eyes, on her turf, maybe… Continue Reading “Trans Youth Affirmation is Not Abuse”

Understanding Abuse and its Nuances

Let’s review some terms, yeah? Domestic Violence (DV) That word “violence” packs a punch. Many assume violence MUST be physical, but that’s just not so. Violence can happen around you as much as it can happen to you, and it’s not always about kicks… Continue Reading “Understanding Abuse and its Nuances”

On Will Smith

(from a white woman) I feel like, given my platform, I have to say at least this: I’ve long adored Will Smith, and as a fairly devout fan I’m overwhelmed by disappointment. But that disappointment is underpinned by the fact that I carry an… Continue Reading “On Will Smith”

A Note About Spiritual Abuse

Sundays are bittersweet. While I’ve found my peace and carve the day my way now, usually at home, which is my absolute favorite place I remember what it was like before, when I woke up, brainwashed, and just did what was expected of me,… Continue Reading “A Note About Spiritual Abuse”