You Can’t Change Your Abuser


< This is why, as a survivor, you must focus on yourself. Work on your own understanding and healing. Learn how to set boundaries and stick to them. Move forward toward your own health and happiness.

The sooner you realize this, the better: You’ll never get an (authentic) apology. An abuser might fake sorrow or remorse, but that’s just the game they play to reel your emotions back in.

The sooner you learn this, the better: No matter how much progress *you’ve* made, or how confident you feel in your truth, trying to revisit the past with your abuser and convince him of your side and how wrong he was will never be a successful endeavor.


The sooner, the better: Revenge has no place. Don’t waste your precious time and energy trying to “get back at” or “talk sense into” your abuser. Let him live his own life separate from you. You do the same as best you can (especially if you share children).

The sooner, the better: Nothing you can do, ever, will change your abuser’s behavior.


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