“I couldn’t come home from the store with something ‘frivolous’ (like a new shower curtain) without getting a lecture and guilt trip about spending money, but he would buy whatever he wanted, including big ticket stuff.
I had to do things like order water with my restaurant meal because a soda was too expensive, but he would splurge freely, even on out-of-state road trips with his friends multiple times a year.
He was the breadwinner (I raised our kids at home) but I was the bill payer (you know, the one who actually wrote the checks to mail), so it was my fault when the car payment didn’t get made or there were no groceries in the fridge (especially his favorites), even though there was no money for these things in our checking account.
He would dash off long-distance to play hero for other people, but leave me home with two little kids and no money except for a promise of future payment.
We would go on some reputation-serving vacation funded by his pocket full of cash, not knowing if we would come home to lights and heat, since we “couldn’t afford” to pay that bill before leaving.
It’s no wonder money still stresses me out so much, even though we haven’t been married for several years now.”
| Recovering Regina |
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